James Belushi, “Jingle All the Way” Like throwing a suit on a monkey, Belushi in a Santa outfit just feels wrong. Even though he’s a black market toy leader of other criminal Santas, he just gives the feel that he’d be more comfortable playing an embittered neighbor than a shady Santa. You’ll find yourself cheering on a Santa beat down when Schwarzenegger snaps Belushi’s beard, ensuring a good old Santa fight. For “Jingle All the Way,” Belushi as the great jolly one feels weird like a creepy third cousin at your family's Thanksgiving dinner, but you might be into that.
Dick Van Patten, “The Santa Trap” Perhaps Patten’s fantasy credits as the father of eight gave the casting direction the idea that he could be Father Christmas to the world in "The Santa Trap," but it was probably spiked eggnog that truly made this casting choice. As he stares with an almost catatonic gaze, Santa gets trapped by a Rube Goldberg-type trap put out by two kids. Does the world really want a Santa that is taken down by a ruse that unfolds with the quickness of the last ice age? Patten doesn’t come off as a powerful incarnation of Christmas but as someone who answered a Craiglist ad looking for a few extra bucks. Easily one of the weirdest actors to play Santa, Patten as Santa is a harmless choice that won’t make you fear coal in your stocking for a second.
Paul Sorvino, “Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe” If Santa had an enforcer, Sorvino would be perfect for the role of Santa, but as the actual bearded man he feels like a weak choice. Santa should make you feel a little nervous as you wonder if your nice outweighs your naughty, but this Santa makes you double check your pants to ensure your wallet is still there. The encounter between a mall Santa and the O.G. version in "Santa Baby 2" is filled with a huge helping of passive aggressive goodness that must be fast-forwarded to and enjoyed.
papier mache donkey with judging eyes, creating a new kind of Christmas memory for the children. With his callous manner and enthusiastic wallowing in dark humor, Thornton makes “Bad Santa” terrifyingly wonderful.