I'm going to introduce this article in two different manners - the way I feel I'm supposed to introduce it and the way I want to introduce it. 

The way I'm supposed to introduce it: What's in a name? In Hollywood, many actors trade on their names alone, so having a distinct moniker can serve an actor well. For instance, once you hear the name "Delroy Lindo," you're going to have it etched in your brain for quite some time. So it should come as no surprise that many of these distinct names can elicit quite a chuckle, as a funny name is, inherently, a funny name. So please join me as we examine some of the funniest names in Tinseltown!

The way I want to introduce it: Here are some funny names. Go f*ck yourself.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Films: Sherlock (TV), Star Trek 2

Believe it or not, Benedict Cumberbatch is British. I also theorize that he has a cup of tea surgically fused to his hand at all times, but I haven't gotten close enough to him to try to rip it out of his hand and know for sure.

Delroy Lindo

Films: Domino, Get Shorty, Gone in 60 Seconds

Literally translated, “Delroy” means “of Roy.” I haven’t been able to ascertain Lindo’s father’s name, but his son is named Damiri, which means that my hopes of meeting Deldelroy Lindo are waning. Get to f*ckin’, Delroy! And make it a boy! And name him Deldelroy!

CCH Pounder

Films: Avatar, Face/Off

She sounds like a line of extreme hockey equipment. “CCH” stands for Carol Christine Hilaria, her birth name.

James Badge Dale

Films: World War Z, The Departed, Lord of the Flies

“Why no, "Badge" is my…(raises eyebrow)…middle name.”

Rip Torn

Films: Men in Black, Dodgeball, Wonder Boys

Rip adopted the family name in lieu of his first name at birth, Elmore. It was the first of a streak of great decisions he would make until getting nabbed for drunk driving a few years ago.

Wiley Wiggins

Films: Dazed and Confused, Waking Life

Little is known about Wiley Wiggins, though he was very active in mid-90’s cyber culture, perhaps giving it up when he, along with everyone else, realized it was sooooo dorky.

Scatman Crothers

Films: The Shining

"Scatman" can mean two different things. Either this:

Or some other video that would cause me to get fired or arrested if I posted.

Or the name could mean both. That would be weird.

Randolph Mantooth

Films: LA Law (TV), ER (TV), As the World Turns (TV)

Father of Wes? Husband of Saint Dorothy?

Shia LaBeouf

Films: Holes, Transformers, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I was completely shocked to learn that his parents smoked a lot of pot. LaBeouf is (misspelled) French for "The Beef." And "Shia" is French for "shit." Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce, "Shit The Beef."

Viggo Mortensen

Films: Eastern Promises, Lord of the Rings, A History of Violence

With a name like “Viggo,” this guy has a standing offer to join the mob as hired muscle, even though he’s a filthy, filthy Dane.

Tucker Smallwood

Films: Deep Impact, Traffic

I saw this name and had to look the guy up. I almost died of a heart attack when I learned that he was taller than four feet and wasn’t always wearing a bow tie. It’s my own fault for getting my hopes up.

Imogen Poots

Films: 28 Weeks Later, V for Vendetta

Born to Trevor and Fiona Poots, Imogen's appearance on this list puts me in a bit of a bind, because the name Poots is very funny, but she's also the second most-attractive person on this list behind Viggo Mortensen. So, I'm reluctant to poke fun of her, in the off chance that it gets back to her and affects her decision as to whether or not she would like to spend the rest of her life with me. The fact that her middle name is "Gay" only complicates matters further.

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