Squirrel Girl? 9 Marvel Heroes You Won’t See In ‘The Avengers’

Thursday, October 13 by

The Whizzer

This fellow was not created under a good star. His origin involves a blood transfusion from a mongoose. When it came time to name him, the Flash and Quicksilver were taken… so he was dubbed The Whizzer. Even in the 1940′s that couldn’t have sounded cool. Originally introduced to the Avengers as a C-list villain, The Whizzer was eventually turned back into a C-List hero, and then quickly cast into limbo. I’m not sure where he is now. Whizzing about somewhere, no doubt.

Starfox

Starfox is a member of a race of god-like beings called The Eternals. His powers include superhuman strength, flight and healing. Sounds like a good potential Avenger, right? Except he has one more power- the ability to manipulate emotions- which got him into a bit of trouble when he was accused of sexual assault by a housewife, and had to be defended in court by his attorney, She-Hulk. No, I’m not making this up. Anyways, Captain America is having enough trouble adapting to the loose morals of the 21st century. Adding a date-rapist to the team won’t help him. So no dice, Starfox.

Squirrel Girl

Squirrel Girl was co-created by Steve Ditko, who also helped to create Spider-man. OK, so nobody bats 1.000. Anyways the character has recently been reintroduced as the babysitter for Avenger Luke Cage, and has gained a small cult following due to her sunny outlook and sense of humor. Or maybe there are a lot of pervs with fur fetishes out there. Either way, don’t hold your breath to see her in the movies.

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