7 Sorta High Points From Last Night’s Oscars

Monday, February 27 by

Billy Crystal as Tintin

It doesn’t have to be pleasant or even palatable to technically be a “high point,” so kudos to the Academy for dressing Billy Crystal up like Tintin to terrify everyone on new levels that doctors didn’t even know existed. Considering Crystal is now such an old, weird-looking guy anyway, it’s a safe assumption that turning him into a weird, young Belgian boy will register pretty high on the Creepy-Meter.

He makes that weird Duracell family from the 90’s look like the family from Growing Pains.

Brad Pitt Taking a Few Minutes during the Oscars to Discuss his Experience Seeing War of the Gargantuas

I still don’t know what those candid, taped interviews were all about (hooray for movies?), so I was still trying make sense of the whole thing when Brad Pitt started talking about seeing a Japanese monster movie called The War of the Gargantuas. Not only did he mention it in passing, but he then decided to share with everyone exactly what went down in that film.

Needless to say, I wasn’t much cleared on the purpose of the exercise after that moment, but I did appreciate the fact that the Academy is so batshit crazy that if they’re going to do something like cut The Muppets song, they’re going to do it so Brad Pitt can just rap about monster movies from his youth while Adam Sandler talks about how Jack and Jill was “the truth.”

J. Lo and Her Dress

The possibility that I may have seen J. Lo’s nipple made my month.

Do you like this story?