At the risk of coming across at best as morbid, and at worst as a psychopath, I would like to say that I have been looking forward to this piece for quite some time. I don’t delight in the death of other humans. Rather, death in any form saddens me. However, it doesn’t sadden me as much as correctly predicting something elates me.

Every year, the passing of famous actors and actresses takes us by surprise, but, with this list, maybe we’ll be a little more prepared, perhaps even expecting some of these deaths. Even if we’re wrong, it will be an interesting sociological experiment to see how celebrities navigate the year when everyone is expecting, if not hoping, for them to die.

William H. Macy


– Suicide by cop


Nick Nolte


– Mange


Sarah Jessica Parker


– Tortured to death by interrogators trying to determine “how she does it”


Michael K. Williams


– Gunned down by actor Jamie Hector


Taylor Lautner


– Accidental drowning (bucket of water)


Robert Pattinson


– Also mange


Mary Steenburgen


– Friendly fire (Afghanistan)


Charlie Sheen


– Undiagnosed shellfish allergy


Bradley Cooper


– Not content with being “Sexiest Man Alive,” kills self to become “Sexiest Man Dead” as well


Kirk Douglas


– Kept forgetting he was alive until he saw himself on Oscar telecast, died of heart attack when he realized, with the rest of America, that he hadn’t died yet


Ted Danson


– Flies to Afghanistan to avenge wife Mary Steenburgen’s death; is killed by insurgents almost instantly


Wanda Sykes


– Complications arising from sass poisoning


Russell Brand


– Attention deficit disorder (the kind where if you don’t get enough attention, you die)


Parker Posey


– Runner-up, 1st Annual Hollywood Hunger Games


Dakota Fanning


– AIDS…just kidding. Little Dakota’s gonna be just fine in 2012


Kathy Griffin


– Kicked by mule


Kevin Kline


– Overdose snorting bath salts


Zach Braff


– Beaten by angry mob for reasons unknown


Mila Kunis


– Killed by Macauley Culkin for failing to acknowledge the couple’s murder-suicide pact


Macauley Culkin


– See above


Casey Affleck, Mena Suvari, Garry Shandling, Bruce Bruce, Carey Mulligan, Lucy Liu, Masi Oka


– Participation Award, 1st Annual Hollywood Hunger Games





Click an image below to read more ScreenJunkies goodness....

20 Actresses, 20 Playboy Covers



Dennis Reynolds: Sexual Predator?



Community: 31 Awesome Abed Gifs



Zooey Deschanel Hotness



Best Pics Of Christina Hendricks



9 Most Forgettable Films Of 2011



6 Films That Skewer Famous Dictators