Plan Your Pee Breaks Now: 7 Boring 2012 Oscar Moments To Avoid

Wednesday, February 22 by

Michael Douglas

Dude was in three good movies thirty years ago and is still coasting on the recognition from those. Beyond that, he’s smug, vein, conceited and phoney. “Hey kids. We have a special surprise guest for you today…. Michael Douglas! C’mon, kids. A little enthusiasm. No. He’s and actor, not the old lady on the dollar bill.”

Which leads us to…

Whatever Old Person They Decide To Honor

By the time they got Kirk Douglas off the stage last year, I had grown older than him. What was the point of giving him a twenty minute monologue about how he can still walk unassisted? Was it to scare any babies in the audience? No one actually wants to watch people that old on center stage. I think the success of Up may have sent the wrong message.

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