Plan Your Pee Breaks Now: 7 Boring 2012 Oscar Moments To Avoid

Wednesday, February 22 by

Any Bits That Don’t Include Uggie Or The Muppets

The Weinstein Company has already tipped everyone off that Uggie will not be appearing during the telecast. We’re hoping that they’re dirty, dirty liars so we’ll watch all of the skits regardless in the hopes that he’ll skateboard onto stage. However, if he truly won’t be appearing, it’s on the Muppets to make this year’s show worth seeing. Hopefully, Brian Grazer has hired them to run the backstage area.

Milla Jovovich

It just wouldn’t be a grand celebration of the dramatic arts without including actress Milla Jovovich. Not quite sure why actress Milla Jovovich is presenting. Is she there to remind us that actress Milla Jovovich is an actress? Maybe she mistook Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close for a 3D action film and thinks she’s supposed to do slow-motion cartwheels.

During The Shorts And Foreign Stuff

If you’re in an Oscar pool, these categories are likely to be wild stabs in the dark. At any rate, it’s better to get up and whiz or fill your plates with another round of taquitos while presenters breeze through Best Animated Short, Best Documentary Short, Best Live Action Short, and Best Foreign Language Film. You might find this to be a rude and uninformed assertion on my part. If so, I accuse you of underestimating the deliciousness of taquitos.

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