Movie Lists - Page 54

Don’t offer them a Zima if you’re out of whiskey. Trust me.

Did Apple design these sets, or did these sets design Apple (metaphorically, of course)?

“People have to watch what they say and what they do.”

Why isn’t Batman doing something about the Zetas?

Damn, that’s old.

I think we can all agree the Nobel ceremony would have been a lot more fun with a disappointed Marlon Brando in the audience.

Don’t worry, ‘MadTV’ made the list.

That’s it. I’m hiding my money in a fake rock.

We laugh with cancer. Not at it.

Honorable mention to ‘Dig Dug’.

Quiet, little ones. The adults are talking.

Nothing kills the mood like misery, violence, and Jennifer Aniston.

This roster sports a monkey, a crippled kid, and Tommy Lee Jones. They’ll be out of the hunt by the All-Star break.

Gay men can kiss too, but our readership is much more interested in the lesbian thing. It’s weird.

Make sure you’re getting your daily allowance of apple.

Don’t mention donuts in front of these guys.

Good rule of thumb: If you shrunk your children or they are full-sized, but screwing pies, you’re probably not fit as a parent.

These stereotypes are lazy. Not the characters themselves, but the writing behind them.

My spank bank needs a bailout.

An exploration of America’s favorite chip most memorable scenes.

When we telephoned Brimley to get a quote for the piece, he offered up, “Don’t call this number again, dammit.”

Even the ridiculously attractive can be homeless.

What happens when a random crime isn’t so random after all.

It’s a good thing they’re around to point out what’s wrong with everything.

Someone needs some Norton Anti-Virus.

Stupid Light! You’re not so fast after all!

Eminem is not in the running.