9 Unlucky Movie Losers Who Never Had A Chance

Monday, September 12 by
He never had a chance... 

In the long history of film losers, the most depressing are the unlucky bit characters. These folks get a few moments of screen time before getting screwed over, usually through no fault of their own, to advance the plot. Case in point: Rise of the Planet of the Apes beleaguered neighbor, Hunsiker. (Spoiler alert)We’re introduced to him when the chimp Ceaser accidentally scares his kids. Over the next ninety minutes, his car gets trashed, his finger gets bitten off, and he gets infected with a deadly disease and spreads the infection across the planet. (End Spoiler) This poor bastard should have stayed in the suburbs. In his honor, we’ve compiled this list of film history’s unlucky losers who should have probably just stayed in bed that day.

1. Pam Magnus – In the Line of Fire

Bank teller Pam Magnus got super excited when she recognized the Minnesota home town of her customer James Carney. Unfortunately there was no James Carney- he was really assassin Mitch Leary, and Pam had inadvertently threatened to blow his cover. Leary then visits Pam at her apartment and slaughters her and her equally unlucky roommate. True Minnesotans have better manners. For shame, Mr. Leary!

2. John Conners’ Foster Parents – Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Poor Todd and Janelle. They put up with bratty John Conner’s crap for years, and their reward (besides a modest government subsidy check) was a Terminator hook to the face. Even the dog bought it in this massacre. And that’s after a group of innocent bikers get beaten for their clothes by the other Terminator- the one that’s supposed to be a good guy!

3. The Nun – The Da Vinci Code

Was there any more innocent victim to Silas’ psychotic rampage than the old nun that let him into Saint-Sulpice? Perhaps the viewers who had to look at Tom Hank’s ridiculous haircut for two hours.

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