It's 11-11-11. In other words, it's officially Nigel Tufnel day. As lead guitarist for England's loudest band, Spinal Tap, Tufnel knows that if it's louder, it's better. That's why he plays with amps specialized so that the volume knobs go up to eleven. Because eleven is one louder than ten.

In honor of this, the loudest day in the universe, we decided to blast Tap. Don't worry if our office walls start shaking. We want it that way.

Big Bottom

"Big bottom, big bottom. Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em."

Tap took the opportunity to homage the female body part that ZZ Top didn't get around to -- the posterior. The band once again proves their technical prowess by employing three bass guitars for the anthems driving force. Plus, ZZ Top never got around to a lyric like this, "My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights. Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah."

Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight

"You're sweet but you're just four feet. And you still got your baby teeth. You're too young and I'm too wel hung."

A perfect send-up of heavy rock while simultaneously one of the greatest songs ever written, "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" is better than the tracks it takes aim at. It's almost flawless, if only the roadies could get their act together.

Hell Hole

"The window's dirty, the mattress stinks. This ain't no place to be a man."

If anything, "Hell Hole" proves that the grass is always greener. Whether you live in a squalor filled hole with peeling rats or a mansion where the sauna is too drafty, someone always has it better.


"Stonehenge! Where a man's a man. And the children dance to the Pipes of Pan."

Tap's tripped out travelogue takes us to the ancient nights of Stonehenge. The mysterious stone sculptures were home to the bacchanal ceremonies of devils and virgins. Nowadays, it's just a place with some boring rocks.

Sex Farm

"Working up a hot sweat. Crouching in your pea patch. Plowing through your bean field. Planting my seed."

In their ongoing war with AC/DC for sexual innuendo dominance, Spinal Tap pulls ahead with this account of the rigors of working on a sex farm.

Airport Security

"Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?" "Not really. No."

Life is hard on the road, and when you're a world renowned celebrity you're always a target. Luckily, the papparazi weren't on hand.

Rock and Roll Creation

"It 'twas the Rock & Roll creation. It 'twas a terrible big bang. It 'twas the ultimate mutation. Ying was searching for his yang."

Scientists and theologists have argued for years about exactly how the universe was created. However, while both present solid theories, they are only half right. Spinal Tap posits that the universe and rock and roll were created at the same time. Perhaps the universe was actually the side effect of rock and roll's big bang.

Bitch School

"You been bad. Don't do what I say. You don't listen. And you never obey."

Even rock stars know the importance of having a well-trained dog. You can't have your maltipoo trying to sniff Lemmy's crotch when he comes over to play Ouija.

If Nigel Tufnel were here, he'd be clicking on that picture of Sofia Vergara right about now.

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