In Honor Of The Underwear Bomber: 8 Inept Movie Terrorists

Friday, February 17 by
 

The Underwear Bomber who tried to blow up a jetliner with his underwear bombs has received a life sentence which he is now appealing after previously pleading guilty when representing himself in court. So, yeah. Not really an impressive lawyer or terrorist. In honor of this momentous day in the history of undergarment terror, here’s our list of cinema’s most inept terrorists.

Hans Gruber – Die Hard

Hans Gruber’s real fault was with his planning. His team of hostage-takers were certainly imposing and able to think on their feet, but in the end they just weren’t ready to deal with John McLane. The fact that a team of heavily-armed Euro-thugs weren’t able to take out one barefoot, mostly unarmed man is just ridiculous. Yes, Gruber definitely put in the hours in terms of anticipating and leading the police outside, but he really was poorly equipped for the eventuality that a police officer might make it inside the the building. Seems kinda odd that he’d go to all that trouble and not spring for bulletproof armor.

Howard Payne – Speed

Howard Payne’s plan was completely stupid. Yes. Plant a bomb on a bus. Good job. People will notice. But then to turn it into a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the cop that you hate is silly. Just go to the cop’s house and blow him up. I get that you want to publicly embarass him, so maybe you could blow him up on the toilet like the bad guys in Lethal Weapon 2 tried to do. Now those guys were talented at their gigs.

Do you like this story?