Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey has gone on record to say that baby eating is wrong. Last week he introduced a bill in his state that would ban "the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses." They have those? No. No they don't. But it's good to know that someone is standing vigilant in the case that food manufacturers do decide to start making taste treats from aborted human fetuses. Thanks, bro.

Here are a few film characters who should never set foot in Oklahoma. Check out these baby eaters. In the meantime, I'll have a salad.

Vampire - Stake Land




In Stake Land, the United States is decimated when a plague of vampirism sweeps through, turning the population into either bloodthirsty monsters or food. The film was well received by horror fans for it's willingness to go there. "There" in this case being a scene where a vampire feeds on a still crying baby. Other films and television shows in the genre would have you believe that babies are a delicacy for the undead. I'm not sure he reasoning behind this, but I am a big fan of mini-bagels. I guess it's the same logic.

Fat Bastard - Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me




You surely have friends that will still yell "I ate a baby!!!" in Fat Bastard's Scottish brogue. Get better friends. Moving on.



Aunt Mei - Dumplings




Bai Ling plays Aunt Mei, a chef who discovers the secret to youthful rejuvenation. Eat dumplings made from unborn fetuses. The results are really effective. Her customers not only regain their young countenances, but they also get really horn. This actually explains a lot about Bai Ling.

Cannibals - The Road




In his quest to provide an unflinching look at the fall of society, The Road director John Hillcoat initially fought to film a scene that showed a gang of cannibals dining on a baby. However, after filming, Hillcoat decided to cut the footage as he felt it was more chilling to only refer to the scene with the intent that horror films are scarier when the monster isn't in full view. Must have made for a comfortable premiere party. "So, yeah. Sorry about making you guys eat that baby. I guess we'll put it on the DVD."

Big-Fat-Ugly-Bug-Face-Baby-Eating O'Brien - Muppet Treasure Island




Not much is known about this rough character, but with a name like that she must be pretty bad. Or maybe it's an ironic nickname? After all I wouldn't categorize her as butt ugly. We should get a good look at her butt to confirm.



Redneck Zombies - Redneck Zombies




Over the years, Troma has done a lot to shock us and gross us out. Why would Redneck Zombies be any exception? The plot centers around rednecks who done go get themselves zombified after distilling whiskey through a drum used for chemical waste. This leads to a scene where they kill a young couple and eat the fetus out of the woman's stomach. So, yeah. Yuck.

Dingo - A Cry In the Dark




This son of a bitch is probably the most famous baby-eater throughout history. Based on the book Evil Angels, A Cry In the Dark tells the true story of a couple whose nine-week-old daughter disappears while they are camping in the Outback. The couple maintains their innocence with the claim that a dingo ate their baby. However, a scrupulous public views them as pagans who sacrificed their child's life. Years later, after their imprisonment, it is discovered that the dingo did in fact eat the baby. Which made the public pretty mad. Trust is something you have to earn, dingo.



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