After 46 years at Penn State, Joe Paterno has been fired as head coach of the Penn (Ped?) State Nittany Lions. The decision to drop the revered coach came amid allegations that Paterno was aware that his assistant coach was (allegedly) raping ten year old boys on the campus, and did little to stop it. That’s way worse than vandalizing the Tri-Lambs house, in my humble opinion.
So as the students at Penn State riot in the street over the loss of an accessory to pedophilia, let’s take a look at some fictional coaches who have been disgraced just like JoPa.
Coach Bud Kilmer lives in a football town. Which means in order to stay top dog, his team has to win… by any means necessary. Even if that entails the world’s fattest teenager to get a few holes in his brain. After all, holes in the brain are temporary (double-check this with WebMD), but pride is forever. In the end, his team mutinies and Kilmer is forced into retirement where he lives out his days as a stupid dick.
If there’s one thing Coach Harris hates, it’s nerds. So much so that he embraces that behavior in his players. Under his direction, the Alpha Beta fraternity makes life on the Adams College a living hell. However, his reign of terror and control over the Dean comes to an end when the nerds rise against their tormentors and encourage others to do the same. At last report, Harris was forced to live in the school gymnasium. Which is weird. Shouldn’t this guy live off-campus?