In Honor Of Eddie Murphy: 7 Oscar Hosts Who Never Picked Up A Tranny

Tuesday, September 6 by

4. Anne Hathaway

Wait. This is supposed to be James Franco. Franco has never paid a transsexual/transvestite for sex. I really can’t get it into it, but Anne Hathaway has absolutely no business being on this list.

3. Douglas Fairbanks

Douglas Fairbanks never PAID a transvestite for sex. Not once. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Fairbanks was never one to PAY for hot tranny sex. Paying just wasn’t his style, dig?

2. Jon Stewart

It took me a few minutes to determine if “liberal” and “transvestite-sexer” were synonymous. It turns out that while many or most liberals do pay for transvestite sex, there are a select few that do not, and it would appear that Jon Stewart is one of these few. Interestingly, he is the only on-air talent on Comedy Central that has not been accused of paying for sex in some capacity.

1. David Letterman

David Letterman is from Indiana, and it’s pretty muc taken as fact that Indiana doesn’t have any transsexuals. That’s why Peyton Manning will never leave.

Sure, Letterman was hosting his show out of Manhattan when he got picked for Oscar duty, and NYC is perhaps the transvestite capital of the world, but Letterman was living in Connecticut, where there continue to be remarkably few alternative lifestyles.