Over the past week, Hazel Jones has been popping up in the darndest places, and all because she’s a hot 23 year-old girl with two vaginas. To the naked eye, nothing seems awry, but she found later in her life that she was born with two uteruses (uteri?), cervixes, and vaginas. While this may sound wacky, some doctors guess that 1 in 3,000 women have the condition, which allows them to lose their virginity twice and experience two periods, so, you know, twice the fun and whatnot.
UPDATE: IT’S BEEN REPORTED…sorry. Caps lock was on…It’s been reported that Hazel has recently been offered $1 million to star in an adult film that will presumably feature both her vaginas. Hazel has shown off both her vaginas at sex clubs in the U.K., so taking up this offer isn’t outside the realm of possibility. Does this mean that the record for “most simultaneous penetrations” will be increased by one. Or two or three?
Only time will tell.
Along with the presentation of her “gift” to the aforementioned fetish clubs and showing her double-barrel vagina to any woman who asks to see it, Jones recently posed, clothed, in Bizarre magazine, so she’s certainly owning this trait and not living in shame. So while you, dear reader, mull over the question of whether this makes her more or less appealing than a “regular” uni-vagged girl, please take a moment and review our list of the best mutants in film.
Again, the extra breast thing is a matter of taste, but I can say that the third breast didn’t do much for me. That said, this list isn’t about me. Many, many Americans, and possibly Canadians, enjoy the tri-boobed hooker, so she makes the list. I find it a bit silly, as I never have thought to myself, “Gee, I wish this girl I was hooking up with had one more thing on her body I had to stimulate and negotiate. I’m not searching for degree-of-dificulty here. I would rather have a girl with nine tongues or a caterpillar clitoris or something that gave ME pleasure rather than yet another body part I need to focus on. Anyway, here’s your three-breasted whore. Enjoy.
Jeff Goldblum in mutated fly form is pretty much a lateral move from regular Jeff Goldblum, so I’m not phased at all by by the fact that he vomits on his food, or his ears fall off on the reg. It’s all good! I hope he doesn’t vomit on my hand, but there’s no need to single him out. I hope none of my friends vomit on my hand. That’s crappy behavior.