People just don’t want to see white people as underdogs. There are plenty of white underdogs in sports, but it’s just a hard pill to swallow. I can’t really explain it. Seeing a white guy as an underdog is like seeing a dolphin using a typewriter. It’s weird and unsettling. (NOTE: White people are totally believable as basketball underdogs. If the sport in question is basketball, disregard this paragraph.)
If you really want to go whole hog, give them all Aryan features. The only thing worse than watching white guys win something is watching blonde white guys win something. I’m getting angry just thinking about it.
They shouldn’t be trying to save a rec center from a greedy developer, and they certainly shouldn’t be playing for money. I understand in Major League, they were playing so that they wouldn’t be sent to Miami, but that subplot was forgotten about as quickly as it was brought up.
A true underdog story should hinge on the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. There needn’t be any external forces at play. No one wants to see the scrappy underdogs get rich. That happened in Major League 2, and that movie sucked.
I could belabor this, but it’s self-explanatory. Here’s a list of trick plays that have been used by underdogs to win games:
“Play It As It Lies” – Happy Gilmore
World’s Slowest Catcher Bunts For Hit – Major League
Crane Kick – The Karate Kid
That Stupid Thing With The Little Drums – The Karate Kid II
Flying V – The Mighty Ducks
Black Kid Shoots His Urban Knucklepuck – The Mighty Ducks 2
Oopty Oop – Varsity Blues
Faking The PAT, Going For Two – Necessary Roughness
And millions more.
So there you have it. If you’ve got a computer, word processor, or typewriter, and have at least a tenuous grasp on the English language, you should be able to take these guidelines and create a serviceable sports comedy. Please join us next week when we will offer tips on how to lighten up your Civil War screenplay.