Here’s Why The Muppets Should Be Hosting The Oscars Instead Of Billy Crystal

Thursday, November 10 by

Statler And Waldorf

Those guys rule. I would love them just rag on all the nominees from the balcony during the show.

Statler: The Help? I’ve seen better film on teeth!

Waldorf: Now, now, I think it’s great that they let retarded people make their own movie.

I could go on, but that was offensive enough for now. Ok. One more.

Waldorf: What do you think of Elizabeth Olsen’s nomination for Martha Marcy May Marlene?

Statler: I think we should clone her. That way we could have FOUR talentless Olsen sisters!

Oh, you guys!

Kermit The Frog Could Sing Every Nominee For Best Song

He’s still a better talent than Oscar winners Three 6 Mafia.

A Muppet Could Make An Insensitive Joke And Get Booed

I know it’s a long shot, but how amazing would it be if the Swedish Chef said something about Charlize Theron’s tuna, only to have the entire Kodak Theater audience turn on him and start booing. It would forever be known as the night that a thousand people in tuxedos booed a puppet.

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