9 Women In Hollywood Who Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Vote

Friday, August 26 by

3. Lindsay Lohan


Can a whole life be comprised of bad decisions? Lindsy is out to prove that it can. In extrapolating this theory, one can assume that any vote she casts would be just another in those series of bad decisions. Plus, let’s face it, she would probably get arrested for drunk driving and cocaine possession on her way to the polling place.

2. Janice Dickinson


In doing “research” (read: Wikipedia) for this entry, I found that Dickinson’s former lovers include Jack Nicholson, Dolph Lundgren, and Jon Lovitz. I hope somewhere out there, female starf*ckers consider this “the trinity” and regularly sleep with all three.

But that’s neither here nor there. Her appearances on Celebrity Rehab, I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! (both US and UK editions), and The Surreal Life, where she got into a physical altercation with…Bronson Pinchot.

Why does this mean she shouldn’t vote? I’m able to synthesize all this information, but the analysis is a little tricky. I’m just going to lean to “no” and will get back to you later with a cohesive argument.

1. Tila Tequila


Sex-crazed, bisexual, fame-whore midgets should be allowed to vote. It’s one of the greatest things about this country. Seth Green also falls into this camp. However, unlike more innocuous sex-crazed, bisexual fame-whore midgets, she got famous through MySpace. Getting the support of people on MySpace is tantamount to an endorsement from the KKK.

She forced herself to pull the plug on her Twitter feed because she was spouting off too many dumb things. Do you know how many dumb things you have to say online before that number becomes “too many?” Like, millions. The only other person that has had to do that is John Mayer. Nice company, Tila.

Judging by her pedigree, she’s the one most likely to turn any sort of election into a popularity contest.