9 Things You Should Watch Instead Of The Oscars

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown – Telemundo @ 9PM EST/PST

This Spanish-redubbed version of 2006′s Ice Age 2: The Meltdown sees Manny, Sid y Diego descubren que la Edad de Hielo está llegando a su fin, y unirse a todo el mundo para un viaje a tierras más altas. En el viaje, descubren que Manny, de hecho, no es el último de los mamuts lanudos. Con las voces de Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo y Queen Latifah.

Even in a language I don’t understand with character design I find revolting, I’d rather watch this over the Oscars. You don’t get the chance to hear a Spanish guy imitate Ray Romano every day.

Hillbilly Handfishin’ – Animal Planet @ 8PM EST/PST

Using only their hands and feet, Skipper Bivins and Trent Jackson teach a group of strangers how to “noodle.” This week’s adventure involves Las Vegas showgirls wiggling around in the muddy water attempting to catch catfish without the use of a pole or line. If the alternative is watching Ben Stiller come out dressed as one of the maids from The Help, I’ll go with the showgirls.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son – HBO @ 7:05PM EST/PST

For all of you Oscar snobs who prefer stirring and depressing dramas, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son is pretty much Precious if you squint really hard. Though the plots are very different, I’d say it’s equally (if not more) depressing.