Lindsay has walked away essentially scot-free too many times to even keep track of. After repeated 8-second prison sentences for drug, theft, assault, and reckless driving charges, it’s clearly that the California Prison System isn’t interested in public safety. It’s time for the military to sweep in and take this away from the Hollywood glad-handers. We may lose a few good Marines in the process, but take solace in knowing they died working toward a good cause.
Suave, sophisticated, and good with the ladies, the Dos Equis Guy intrigues me. He has an amazing ability to attract women with only a premium beer. A fellow like you or I would have to resort to vodka or champagne. We must capture and study him. Please have a cot readied in the laboratory.
Every day this guy remains free to roam the streets of this great nation is another day where he could possibly be cast in a film. Trust me, the last thing we need is this gimmicky fartknocker infiltrating our blockbuster films. Movie tickets are too damn expensive to put up with this sort of stunt casting. You’ve seen what he did to Wolverine. He’s to be captured and detained immediately for the good of entertainment. Use excessive force if necessary… or unnecessary.