I know I’m going to catch a lot of flack for this choice, and I don’t care. It’s my list, and I’ll do what I damn well please.
The consensus seems to be that Love Actually is a good film. Well, the consensus needs an enema. This film is a contrived, pandering mess that trots out every cliché in the book. From the sickeningly-sweet wedding near the start of the film, to the idiotic airport chase near the end, Love Actually is a non-stop schmaltz fest that has about as much in common with a real relationship as Transformers has in common with the robotics industry.
Hey, remember that guy who was runner up to Kelly Clarkson on the first season of American Idol? Yeah, neither do I. Apparently, this Justin fellow and Kelly made a romantic comedy together. To make matters worse, it was a musical. The film was a rush job, and a blatant attempt to cash in on their fame before it faded into obscurity.
This film is often referred to as the worst romantic comedy every made. To be fair, that has more to do with its behind the scenes production problems, as well as the fact that its stars, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, were dating during filming, and had reached the point of media over-saturation. Basically, everyone was rooting for the film to fail. That said, when your plot involves kidnapping a retarded kid and converting lesbians to heterosexuality, it sure makes it easy to root against.
Paris Hilton stars in this…Jesus, I just said Paris Hilton was starring in it. Do I really need to explain why it’s number one on this list? Fine.
The film involves a “hottie” (Paris Hilton?) trying to find love for her friend who is a “nottie.” As the film progresses, and the “nottie” spends more time with a possible boyfriend, she slowly becomes more attractive, just like it happens in real life. This film was so bad that Paris Hilton was actually sent to jail for it. True story, bro. You can look it up.