9 Movies Tim Tebow Will Be Watching During The Super Bowl

Friday, February 3 by

Blue Velvet

Timmy wouldn’t choose to watch this film. I’m just going to strap him to a chair and force him to watch it, A Clockwork Orange style, until he’s a coke-sniffing degenerate and the biggest pussy hound this side of Steve Sanders. Why? Because I believe in the power and potential of human redemption, that’s why.

Planet of the Apes

Young Master Tebow is a big fan of this film because of it’s strong stance against the communistic, atheistic and nihilistic philosophy of evolution which is, to this day, poisoning the minds of upstanding young people everywhere.

Bedtime For Bonzo

It’s got Ronald Reagan and a chimp, but the chimp doesn’t play football until the sequel, which deprives me of my last joke about how much I hate Tim Tebow. Still, I can imagine Timmy digging this, because it stars Dutch, takes place in a simpler time when minorities weren’t allowed on golf courses and women kept their mouths shut and had babies whether they wanted them or not. And let’s face it, simian comedies are hilarious no matter who the hell you are.

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