9 Movies Tim Tebow Will Be Watching During The Super Bowl

Friday, February 3 by
One minute until 'Left Behind' comes on! 

Poor widdle Timmy Tebow and his Broncos didn’t make it to the Super Bowl. Tim and company choked hard, hopefully presaging the Broncos future as the new Buffalo Bills.

Don’t mind — I’m just a bitter Raiders fan.

Anyway, since Timmy will be sitting at home watching the tube with mommy on Super Bowl Sunday, I’m guessing he won’t be watching the big game. It would only serve the purpose of reminding him that he’s a boy in a game of men. Here’s some stuff Timmy might be watching on game day while men battle it out on the gridiron.

Left Behind

Obligatory. While Tom Brady and Eli Manning are battling it out, pass for pass, Timmy can comfort himself with this Kirk Cameron classic. Because even though one of them will be getting a ring (and probably an MVP), none of that will matter on the day that Jesus comes back and throws them both into the fiery pits of hell. We’ll see if their Super Bowl rings will save them then.

Veggie Tales

Or maybe Timmy will be feeling a little more childish. Mommy will pop some corn and get him his bankie and he’ll cuddle up with his Veggie Tales tapes. Sometime around 9:30 at night Timmy will get all Tuckered out and pops will have to carry little Timmy up to bed. Then he’ll suckle his thumb in his footy pajamas and dream of a world where he won’t be an irrelevant joke in five years.

Knute Rockne: All American

I know literally nothing about this movie except that it’s about some football player from the 17th Century and it stars a young Ronald Reagan. Right? Shit, I seriously have no idea and I can’t be bothered to look it up on Wikipedia. Point is, Tebow likes Ronald Reagan and football, so he’ll probably be pretty into watching this. Can someone have the intern write a new paragraph where this one is? Thanks.

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