Unless you’ve been living in a cave (or a fortified compound with no phone or Internet connection), you’ve already heard that Osama bin Laden is dead. Obviously, the terrorist mastermind is now rotting in hell for all eternity. Eternity is a long time, so he’s probably going to need to break up the monotony by watching a few films. As such, we couldn’t help but wonder what movies Osama will be forced to watch when Satan isn’t busy pissing glass shards into his eyes. With a little help from our Facebook fans, we came up with the following list.
Being forced to sit through this Harrison Ford stinker would constitute torture in most of the Western world. But the ridiculous plot and the over-the-top American patriotism would surely hit Osama extra hard.
Given that bin Laden was killed by a team of Navy Seals, forcing him to watch this shit fest seems fitting. And the fact that Charlie Sheen is in it is the icing on the cake. Even people living in Pakistan are sick of hearing about that guy.
Ishtar, starring Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman, is widely considered one of the biggest box-office flops of all time. Critical response wasn’t much better. Given the Middle-Eastern setting of the film, it’s a perfect fit for this list.
Jews? Check. Empowered female? Check. Cross-dressing? Check. More Jews? Check. Barbra Streisand? Check. Yep, when it comes to torturing a Muslim extremist, this movie has it all.
Islamic extremists aren’t big fans of homosexuals. So a film about two gay cowboys is a nice addition to Osama’s new DVD collection. Extra points if he’s forced to watch while getting raped by demons.
Any Michael Bay film would be right at home on this list. His entire filmography belongs in hell. But because of the patriotic subject matter, we chose Pearl Harbor. The actual World War II attack was only slightly more tragic than this awful film.
Unlike most of the other films on this list, Team America is awesome. But something tells us the humor will be lost on Osama.
Part of me thinks that the last thing Osama bin Laden saw before he died was Chuck Norris‘ smiling face. While that’s probably not true, the idea of bin Laden being forced to watch Delta Force on repeat for all eternity doesn’t seem that far fetched.