9 Movies Osama Bin Laden Will Be Watching In Hell

Monday, May 2 by
 

Unless you’ve been living in a cave (or a fortified compound with no phone or Internet connection), you’ve already heard that Osama bin Laden is dead. Obviously, the terrorist mastermind is now rotting in hell for all eternity. Eternity is a long time, so he’s probably going to need to break up the monotony by watching a few films. As such, we couldn’t help but wonder what movies Osama will be forced to watch when Satan isn’t busy pissing glass shards into his eyes. With a little help from our Facebook fans, we came up with the following list.

Air Force One

Being forced to sit through this Harrison Ford stinker would constitute torture in most of the Western world. But the ridiculous plot and the over-the-top American patriotism would surely hit Osama extra hard.

Navy Seals

Given that bin Laden was killed by a team of Navy Seals, forcing him to watch this shit fest seems fitting. And the fact that Charlie Sheen is in it is the icing on the cake. Even people living in Pakistan are sick of hearing about that guy.

Ishtar

Ishtar, starring Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman, is widely considered one of the biggest box-office flops of all time. Critical response wasn’t much better. Given the Middle-Eastern setting of the film, it’s a perfect fit for this list.

Yentl

Jews? Check. Empowered female? Check. Cross-dressing? Check. More Jews? Check. Barbra Streisand? Check. Yep, when it comes to torturing a Muslim extremist, this movie has it all.

Brokeback Mountain

Islamic extremists aren’t big fans of homosexuals. So a film about two gay cowboys is a nice addition to Osama’s new DVD collection. Extra points if he’s forced to watch while getting raped by demons.

Pearl Harbor

Any Michael Bay film would be right at home on this list. His entire filmography belongs in hell. But because of the patriotic subject matter, we chose Pearl Harbor. The actual World War II attack was only slightly more tragic than this awful film.

Team America: World Police

Unlike most of the other films on this list, Team America is awesome. But something tells us the humor will be lost on Osama.

True Lies

True Lies represents everything an Arnold Schwarzenegger film should be. Plus, it has Tom Arnold. As you know, Islamic extremists hate Tom Arnold.

Delta Force

Part of me thinks that the last thing Osama bin Laden saw before he died was Chuck Norris‘ smiling face. While that’s probably not true, the idea of bin Laden being forced to watch Delta Force on repeat for all eternity doesn’t seem that far fetched.

Honorable Mention: Season Two of”24

Even though it’s a television show, we couldn’t leave Jack Bauer off this list. And given its plot line involving Middle-Eastern terrorists, season two of “24” should be mandatory viewing for Osama.

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COMMENTS

  1. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Anonymous

    America—@#$% Yeah!!!!


  2. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Anonymous

    America—@#$% Yeah!!!!


  3. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Dwightrhill

    SHEEEESH ! You people need a life .


  4. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Sammsamma

    How can u be so filled with hate… you are no better than osama himself then. so sad…


  5. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Pfcdjw

    to compare someone to a murderer how low can you get are you even american


  6. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Kazankov69

    Delirium (((((


  7. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Austin Bernard McFadden

    of course they forgot gangs of new york. :(


  8. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Anonymous

    List imcomplete. Needs the Twilight Saga movies.


  9. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Anonymous

    Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess making this stupid list does put me on the level of a guy who killed thousands.


  10. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    ipissredwhiteandblue

    all i heard was, “Hi, im a jack ass and unamerican.”


  11. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    ipissredwhiteandblue

    all i heard was, “Hi, im a jack ass and unamerican.”


  12. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    no one

    Why isn’t Beaches on here?


  13. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    bob

    Hide & Seek champion…. 2001 to 2011…… ROFLMAO!


  14. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Blake Good

    How about these:

    Snakes on a Plane
    Bratz: The Movie
    Date Movie
    Epic Movie
    Meet the Spartans
    Disaster Movie
    Vampires Suck
    Baby Geniuses
    Baby Geniuses 2


  15. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Jcbrighton99

    There is no hell, but it I would like to have seen him watching the ‘ Loose Change doc. along with the insulting knobheads of conspiracy….


  16. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Kristie Pseventy

    best list EVER!!


  17. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Anonymous

    Finally (48 hours) time limit to buy.

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  18. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    P1Steven

    @ Sammsamma- That kind of hateful remark is something Hitler would say…@5469e9d5df28593ea00918824c8a69a8:disqus 


  19. May 2, 2011 12:54 pm

    Teahcasey

    Barney really needs to be added to the top of the list.