9 Movie Scientists Who Deserve The Nobel Prize

Monday, October 3 by

Jack Griffin – The Invisible Man

Griffin’s greatness in the field of, uh, “making people invisible” is partly due to the fact that he had albinism and was to some degree ashamed of his appearance. While the effects of invisibility could be both good or bad, the Nobel committee doesn’t exist to judge on the application behind the science, but rather the science itself. It’s a good thing that’s the case, too, because bank robberies and bikini top-thefts would have reached a fever pitch after the invisibility formula was granted FDA approval.

Professor Charles Xavier – X-Men

While he didn’t create the mutations that led to so many enviable talents and skills held by the X-Men, he started the academy that taught so many how to harness their powers for virtuous pursuit. If he hadn’t, Magneto and his gang would be doing their thing all the live-long day, and those guys are operating almost exclusively on rage, so the world wouldn’t be quite as fine a place as it is today.

Good lookin’ out, Professor X.

Dr. Heiter – The Human Centipede

Before Dr. Heiter came along there had been little to no innovation in the field of sewing people’s asses to other people’s mouths. The technology just wasn’t there. But Heiter had the ingenious idea to remove their lower jaw, which changed everything.

I repeat: It changed EVERYTHING.

From that point forward, mankind knew that the construction of a human centipede was not far off. Thankfully.

Now, what are the benefits of sewing people together ass-to-mouth? Well, that’s a tricky question. Step one was making the human centipede, which Dr. Heiter has done. Finding out what to do with a human centipede is a daunting pursuit. Which is why I feel experts in this field should receive two awards. One for the construction of the centipede and one for the application of the creation.

Because right now the only thing I can think to do with human centipedes is race them. Although in all fairness, it could help solve world hunger.

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