People with bad teeth don't make it in Hollywood. Everyone needs to be tall, beautiful, and handsome. However, there have been some people who have slipped through the net, with their teeth helping to give them a unique appearance that sets them apart from most other people in their field. Here are nine movie characters that desperately need to see a dentist before they become as covered in plaque and yellow as an Englishmen's.
Austin Powers,"Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery."
Every single Englishmen has bad teeth. That is a fact. It is such a fact that even the delectable and enlightening mind of Mike Myers was able to notice it and create a multi million dollar movie franchise out of it. Not that "Austin Powers" was ever held back by his odious oral hygiene.
Carl Showalter, "Fargo."
It's not like Steve Buscemi had a great set of pearly whites to start off with, but receiving a bullet to the jaw definitely moved a visit to the dentist up his priority list. Before he was murdered by a wood chipper, that is.
Polexia Aphrodisia, " Almost Famous."
Anna Paquin is a great looking woman. If there is one blemish on her otherwise beautiful face it his her teeth, they are more crooked than a politician. That's OK, though. We still love her.
Red, "The Shawshank Redemption."
Morgan Freeman's wise and authoritative presence helps to elevate Frank Darabont's 1994 masterpiece. But surely with all the time in the world on his hands he could at least look after his teeth a little better. Toothpaste is available in most prisons.
Natalie Connors, "Agent Cody Banks."
It feels mean to criticize Hilary Duff's looks. But Ms Duff's teeth are so large that you can be pretty sure she could bite straight through a lock. Cap 'em, baby!
Mary Jane Watson, "Spider-Man."
The most romantic kiss in modern superhero cinema saw Tobey Maguire dangle upside down and partake in a game of tonsil hockey with Kirsten Dunst. No doubt it was uncomfortable for both parties involved, but Ms. Dunst's fangs could have seriously injured Peter Parker and ruined his youthful good looks.
Aileen Wuornos, "Monster."
Charlize Theron's quest for an Oscar saw her turn herself into a hideous monster by making her hair scruffier, battering her face, roughing up her skin and pummeling her teeth. Suddenly the proposal of her engaging in a lesbian relationship with Christian Ricci didn't seem so appealing.
John Merrick, "The Elephant Man."
John Hurt's character had pretty alarming teeth, but they were often overshadowed by some other features that were present on his face. Like, the fact that he had a few extra foreheads and such. That tends to be what people notice instead of the crooked teeth.
When being cast as the Goblin King, David Bowie must have realized that he wasn't being hired for his good looks and charisma. It was likely more about his appalling teeth and ability to wail out a hit song. Ziggy Stardust may want to pencil in a trip to the dentist before taking on any starring roles.