9 Greatest Movie Weed Dealers

Wednesday, April 20 by

It’s 4-20! And you know what that means: Hitler‘s birthday! But since my boss is a huge pussy when in comes to genocidal dictators, I’ll skip the whole “Greatest Hitler Movie” list and focus on the 9 greatest movie weed dealers. If you’re a smoker, now might be a great time to light up. And if you’re not a smoker, I apologize in advance for the poor grammar. Now, on to the dealers.

Big Worm – Friday

Bradley’s a great guy to know if you’re looking for weed. He’s also a huge help if you’re in the mood for bad poetry or Phish records. However, I wouldn’t ask him to remember the combination to your safe.

Dante – Grandma’s Boy

Dante isn’t the smartest drug dealer on this list. But who needs “smarts” when you have the king of the jungle on your side?

Ricky Fitts – American Beauty

Ricky Fitts is a drug dealing teenager who befriends his middle-aged neighbor. Unfortunately, Ricky’s father misinterprets their friendship, and suspects the pair of having a homosexual affair. Wackiness ensues, and by “wackiness,” I mean (spoiler alert) homicide. Man, if anyone needs to chill out and smoke a joint, it’s Ricky’s dad.

Jay and Silent Bob – Clerks

Jay and Silent Bob have appeared in numerous films, but Clerks is still my favorite. It’s not that the other films aren’t funny. But for me, Clerks rings the most true. The characters really seem like two douche bags you might run into while stopping at the Circle K.

Mr. Nice Guy – Half Baked

Mr. Nice Guy isn’t an actual drug dealer, but rather a front for a group of friends selling weed. The group starts selling as a way to raise money to help get their friend out of jail. But their superior product soon gains some high-profile clients, including a rapper named Sir Smokes-a-Lot. This doesn’t sit well with Samson Simpson, an established drug dealer looking to protect his turf.

George Jung – Blow

George Jung might have grown into the biggest cocaine dealer in the country. But he didn’t start out on top. No, he began his career as a lowly weed dealer. See kids, work hard, and you can achieve anything.

Strawberry – Up in Smoke

Cheech & Chong are known for their love of weed. But where do they get their supply? From Tom Skerritt, of course. In the film, Skerritt plays Strawberry, the drug dealing cousin of Pedro (a.k.a. Cheech). He’s a great source for herb, assuming he’s not having one of his Vietnam flashbacks. Veterans’ groups must have loved this scene.

Red – Pineapple Express

Saul might have more screen time in Pineapple Express, but Red is the more memorable of the two drug dealers. Maybe I just have a soft spot for Danny McBride, but any character that bakes cakes for his dead cat’s birthday is A-OK in my book.

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COMMENTS

  1. April 20, 2011 1:44 pm

    Your Mom

    No Micheal Caine in Children of Men. This list is weak


  2. April 20, 2011 1:44 pm

    Anonymous

    What about Pumpkin Escobar?


  3. April 20, 2011 1:44 pm

    Anonymous

    That pussy got his finger shot off.


  4. April 20, 2011 1:44 pm

    Poo

    How about the guy from Shawn of the Dead.