Like many great people, Air Bud, the amazing basketball playing Golden Retriever, didn’t have an easy upbringing. His owner was an abusive, alcoholic party clown who forced him into show business — effectively robbing him of his puppyhood. When Buddy acted out (as child actors do) he was shipped off to the kill shelter. Luckily, he managed to escape during transport and find his way to a more deserving owner.
When will scientists learn that attempting to cure Alzheimer’s will only result in the escape of killer animals? James Franco obviously didn’t heed this warning when he saw fit to engineer super-intelligence into a young primate. Though the experiment seemed to be a success at first, the meddling of man lead to the chimpanzee growing disenfranchised and butt-hurt. Naturally he led a revolution against the humans and took over civilization. He never did cure Alzheimer’s, either.
When Sesame Street’s Big Bird is captured by The Sleaz Brothers, a daring escape from their craphole carnival is called for. All of his friends band together and together and rescue him during a high-speed chase. Rumors of a Fast and the Furious style remake have been floating around for years.