Masks and avengers go together like the New York Knicks and sadness. As such, picking the nine greatest was no easy task. I can already hear the chorus of fanboys crying out in unison, “Why is The Hamburgler on your list? He’s not even avenging anything?” You don’t know his dark back story!
Mask? Check. Avenger? Double check. Captain America‘s new movie is actually called The First Avenger. You can’t get much more Avenge-y-er than that.
Darkwing Duck spends is days as a mild-mannered suburbanite. But at night, he dons his mask and takes to the streets, avenging the crimes of F.O.W.L., and any other criminals who cross his path.
That’s a pretty impressive description for such a stupid cartoon. I should work in PR.
With the help of their master/teacher Splinter, the Ninja Turtles fight the evil forces of Shredder and Krang. And despite the fact that they only use ninja melee weapons, they somehow manage to fight off entire armies of laser packing foot soldiers. Heroes in a half-shell, indeed.
Zorro’s a lot like Batman. They both where masks. They’re both wealthy. And they both fight crime. But Zorro doesn’t feel the need to take on the persona of a filthy winged rodent. I guess the fact that his parents weren’t gunned down before his eyes was a game changer.
Orgazmo definitely has a mask. But all and all, there’s not a lot of avenging going on until, at least until the end of the film when he finds out an evil director has kidnapped his fiancée. At that point, he busts out the Orgazmorator Ray and fights against the evil forces of Neutered Man. If this all sounds really stupid, it is. But that’s kind of the point.
Cut from the same cloth as Zorro or Batman, The Lone Ranger travel the American Wes fighting crime with the help of his trusty horse Silver and his Indian friend Tonto. As it turns out, the Green Hornet is actually the nephew of The Lone Ranger, proving that masked avenging must run in the family.
Rorschach has the coolest mask on the list, given that it constantly changes its pattern. And when it comes to vengeance, Rorschach has you covered. In “The Watchmen” comic, the character handcuffs a child killer inside his burning home, leaving him with a hacksaw in case he wishes to cut off his arm and escape.
Was there ever any doubt that Batman would be number one on the list? He’s probably the most iconic masked avenger of all time. Seventy years after his inception, the character continues to rake in millions, if not billions, of dollars. Not bad for a guy who’s nothing but a glorified furry.