A problem with action stars is that audiences don’t like to take them seriously as dramatists. But in the hands of the right director, all that could change. Jean-Claude Van Damme wowed critics and fans with his meta turn in JCVD, but hasn’t had a chance since to prove that he can also be the Acting Muscles From Brussels. Honestly, don’t hate guys. None of you have a good frame of reference for how a time-traveling cop should behave.
Christopher Nolan seems to be a fan of off-center casting choices. Tom Berenger in Inception, Matthew Modine in The Dark Knight Rises, and Rutger Hauer in Batman Begins are all examples of this. So why not Van Damme? Is it the Belgian thing? Because that’s racist.
Who else misses the comic dream team of Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson? Surely the Coen Brothers can find a project to bring this modern Laurel & Hardy back together. It’s time they took a stab at To Kill a Mockingbird. But set it someplace wacky like The Villages in Florida.
Time for Marty to get back in the ring. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper could star as a small time tough guy who collects protection money from small establishments. When robbers jump him and make off with the money, he’s forced to track them down and show them he’s not over the hill. Also, both love bag pipe music. Perfect match.