Today is the 34th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death. As such, let's take a moment to reflect on the fact that almost all of his awful, awful movies have titles that sound like they could be porno.


Why should we reflect on such a thing? Because it's a lot more fun than reflecting on the fact that Elvis Presley, the King of Rock'n Roll, a superstar with riches and women beyond your wildest dreams, ended up dying fat, unhappy, alone and on a toilet. Compared to the indignity of dying while dropping a deuce, having your films mocked is a cake walk.

With that in mind, here are nine Elvis Presley films that sound like they could be porno.

Easy Come, Easy Go- 1967




The title for this film is almost too easy. Throw in the fact that the plot involves a go-go dancing yoga instructor and songs titled "Yoga Is as Yoga Does" and "The Love Machine," and it's hard to beleive it's not a porno.



Flaming Star - 1960




In a post Brokeback Mountain world, a film about a cowboy with "flaming" in the title is very, very suspect.



Kissin' Cousins

- 1964


Incest isn't really my thing, but what you people watch in the privacy of your own homes is none of my business. Sickos.



Girl Happy - 1965




Girl Happy sounds like some sort of sleazy webcam site where the girls trick you into sending them pics of yourself and then blackmail you by threatening to tell your wife. I mean, so I've heard.



Tickle Me - 1965




When looking at this title, it's not a stretch to picture a fetish film starting Rex Ryan's wife as opposed to an Elvis film. And Ryan's resemblance to fat Elvis is also a happy coincidence.



Harum Scarum - 1965




In this film, Elvis plays a singer named Johnny Tyrone. That's a porn name if I've ever heard one. Throw in the the "harem" theme, and the fact that "scarum" sounds a lot like scrotum, and this film has earned its place on our list.



Clambake- 1967




Clambake? Is that anything like an Alabama Hot Pocket?



The Trouble with Girls- 1969




The trouble with girls is basically the 1960's version of Where the Boys Aren't, except with more singing and dancing and less lesbian sex. Other than that, it's about the same.



Love Me Tender - 1956




Do I even need to write a joke for this one? I hope not, because I want to go home.