I’m not sure if anyone is still quoting Wayne’s World unironically, but I need everyone to now that if they are, they should stop. It’s not cool. NOT!
Wait. That part at the end undid everything I was trying to accomplish. Just don’t quote Wayne’s World. Unless someone buys you a gun rack or if someone is being such a jerk that they truly would be pralines and dick if they were an ice cream flavor.
Acceptable holdouts: See above
Again, I’m not sure if people are still quoting this, but I have a feeling, somewhere in Sarasota, there’s a jet ski salesman who is wearing a No Fear t-shirt and Oakleys, telling people “hasta la vista…baby,” and “come with me if you want to live.” In my mind, his name is Gunner, and he has a goatee. You can imagine this guy, right?
Acceptable holdouts: None.
Life isn’t really that similar to a box of chocolates, and no one wants to hear you rattle off a thousand shrimp dishes every time they order scampi. Forrest Gump was a stupid, stupid man, and you can probably imagine what people will begin to think of you should you continue to quote stupid men. You’ll be perceived as one.
Acceptable holdout: If you have a friend named Jenny, I guess you can go that route still. Eh. Do whatever you want. I don’t really feel comfortable telling people how to speak.