Why is it that some of Hollywood’s most interesting projects only exist in the universe of another film. The film-within-a-film conceit is generally adopted for a simple throwaway joke that will elicit a giggle and be forgotten. But sometimes the concept to be discarded is clever enough or developed enough that it rivals much of what the industry is cranking out in earnest.

And that’s why films like Simple Jack, Fat Bitch, and Asses of Fire have to be developed as soon as possible. For the art of it all.

Nation’s PrideInglorious Basterds

Sure, it’s Nazi propaganda, but that doesn’t mean it can’t also be a good film. While there was certainly enough action going on during the premiere of the film, part of me wanted everyone to just chill out for a few minutes so that I could watch this sniper pick people off. The film-within-a-film was directed by Tarantino cohort Eli Roth, so it’s nice to see he can branch out beyond Hostel.

Click the trailer and tell me you wouldn’t watch this film all day long.

Simple JackTropic Thunder

Here we see Ben Stiller’s character coming dangerously close to going “full retard” with Simple Jack, a film about a developmentally disabled man-child who works on a farm and talks to animals. My guess is that if this movie were to be released in the next couple months, it would get a nod for Best Picture, especially in light of the expanded field.

And the posters would use a still of Simple Jack looking up towards the sky, blowing a dandelion, like retarded people so often do.

Fat Bitch30 Rock

Of all the Tracy Jordan throwaway projects, this is the one I’d most like to see come to life. It appears to be in the vein of so many family-friendly anthropomorphized-animal films, but if the title’s to be believed, this one might come in a little more crass than the others.

This movie has something for everyone: 1)A sassy protagonist, 2) that’s also a dog, 3) that dies at the end. Sure, the ending paints you into a corner, but it’s no wonder Don Geiss wanted to repeat this formula with a sequel. Fat Bitch Takes Manhattan? Son of Fat Bitch? These projects practically develop themselves.

The best part is, Fat Bitch actually looks like Tracy Jordan. Crazy!

Asses of Fire (The Terence and Phillip Movie) – South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

Any movie that gets us in a war with Canada is one that I would like to see made. It would be among the most base films ever to hit theaters with the incessant farting and the catchy-but-still-reprehensible “Uncle F#cker,” but that makes it all the more intriguing – the duality of it all.

South Park was among the first animated films to appeal to an adult audience, and I think that Asses of Fire would take things a step further by appealing to little kids who enjoy farts, and older audiences who have, at one time or another, enjoyed or at least thought about, f#cking their uncle.

Once again, something for everyone.

Brock Landers: Angels Live in My TownBoogie Nights

I came for the action, but stayed for that snazzy soundtrack. Brock Landers (Dirk Diggler) and his fearless sidekick Chest Rockwell (Reed Rothchild) are skillfully directed by the deft Jack Horner in this action cop film with just a touch of the erotic. I also love how it seems like 60% of the film takes place on rooftops, which gives everything an added element of danger.

My biggest complaint of recent action movies is that the audience never gets a chance to see the star’s huge cock, which I think Angels Live in My Town would surely address.

Mr. LovejoyGet Shorty

While we don’t ever see Mr. Lovejoy get made in the film, the hooplah behind it is enough to pique anyone’s interest. In fact, we never even discern what Mr. Lovejoy is about, but we know that Harry Zimm (Gene F*ckin’ Hackman) had enough faith in this film that he gambled away the $200k given to him by Bo Catlett (Delroy Lindo) for another, lesser project known simply as Freaks.

So many characters in Get Shorty jumped through so many hoops to get Mr. Lovejoy made that America needs to know what the fuss was about. Almost two decades later, the only thing we know about the film was that it was to be Zimm’s “Driving Miss Daisy.”

Coming Home in a Body BagTrue Romance

Again, we aren’t privy to this film, but we do have Clarence Worley’s (Christian Slater) assessment that it’s the only Vietnam films with balls since The Deer Hunter. Again, no images of the film exist in or outside the True Romance universe, but that didn’t stop one internet enthusiast from cobbling together this trailer. It is my sincere hope that if fictitious producer Lee Donowitz got his paws on this thing, it would be a much better film than this trailer would have us believe.

Pee-wee’s Big AdventurePee-wee’s Big Adventure

Sure, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (the Tim Burton one) was a great movie, but think about how much better it would have been if it starred James Brolin as Pee-wee and Morgan Fairchild as Dottie. Also, if you were upset by the lack of ninjas in the Tim Burton take, breathe easy. This new one has tons of ninja action.

Despite all these great aspects of the film, the real winner here is Pee-wee’s turn as a dubbed bellboy. I smell Oscar.

Check out these 17 Bounce-Tastic Sofia Vergara Gifs.

Or, check out 8 Shows That Would Have Lasted Longer On A Different Network.