These jeans are designed 100% to be worn without shirts. The waist is tailored such that the lowest abdominal muscle (that most humans don’t have) is visible, all the while keeping the topmost pubic hair out of sight. It’s a clever balancing act that has taken Swedish scientists the better part of a decade to perfect, but we think you’ll find the results are worth it.
Sure, adults would look like morons dressed like Juno and Paulie, but toddlers in hoodies with sweatbands and short shorts? Adorable! Way cuter than Michael Cera and Ellen Page looked. This line could be sold most anywhere, from The Gap to Kmart to well-appointed gas stations. The best part is, entire outfits can be purchased for less than $20.
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Wouldn’t it be weird if I dressed my 4 year-old daughter up like a pregnant teenager?
Good question! No. It wouldn’t.
Everyone knows that gay cowboys are the most fashionable cowboys, so why not find yourself in the same duds that Ennis and Jack rocked while swimming in the love that dare not speak its name? I can’t think of a SINGLE reason why tough cowboys wouldn’t want to look as good as these two do.
“I wish I knew how to quit…these rugged fashions!”