8 Movie And TV Characters Who, Like Chris Brown, Don’t Deserve A Second Chance

Monday, January 23 by

Beethoven – Beethoven

Beethoven, you son of a bitch.

What a terrible, terrible dog. I love animals, but I would be eager to send this troublemaking pooch to the glue factory. I’m aware that traditionally, horses are the ones sent to glue factory, but because Beethoven is both an enormous dog and deserving of an undignified death, I suggest that he be sent there as well.

Instead, Charles Grodin and his family kept coming back for more, as though they suffered from an acute case of battered dog-wife syndrome.

Carlo Rizzi – The Godfather

Sure, Carlo was a horrible wife beater, which would probably get him on the list in and of itself, but the coup de grace here is that he was so cavalier with beating the sister of a ruthless mob boss. It’s pretty clear from the get-go that things aren’t going to end well for Carlo.

If he wasn’t capable of learning from his mistakes after Sonny Corleone tuned him up curbside, it was fairly foreseeable that his general shittiness could adversely affect not only Connie, but the family as well. But the family waited too long to pull the trigger, which ended up costing Connie several more beatings, and cost Sonny his life.

Tony Soprano – The Sopranos

It would appear that Tony Soprano had extramarital affairs about 1,432 times during the course of The Sopranos’ run, and wife Carmela knew about half of them. Of course, she found her lifestyle and his power to be huge turn-ons, so instead of walking away, she harbored a resentment for him for years and years and years, which most psychologists agree is the healthy thing to do.

Of course, Carmela lost the moral high ground when she lived off of his ill-gottten gains, and pursued at least two extramarital relationships during the show. Three if you count Father Phil. Wasn’t that guy just the worst?

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