8 Famous Dildo Scenes For Those Without A Date On Valentine’s Day

Tuesday, February 14 by

Se7en

Yowser! This marital aid doesn’t seem as though it would provide much in the way of pleasure unless the party wearing it is a murdering sadist. In Se7en, the serial killer, John Doe, picks his victims based on their sins, and then implements methods that tie in closely with that sin.

John Doe found a man who visits prostitutes (“lust”), and at gunpoint forces him to, uh, “make love” to a prostitute (who is also an intended victim) using this little number. Don’t try to order one of these at your local lingerie store. They look at you funny.

Me, Myself, and Irene

Just a pleasant reminder not to drink too much this Valentines Day, especially if you’ve been repressed your whole life to the point that you could have an alternate personality who’s into that sort of thing. Better yet, if you’re going to drink tonight, just clear all the dildos out of your house and put them into a safety deposit box. Then get your accountant or lawyer to hold the only copy of the key. It’s the smart move.

Bruno

Once again, we see dildos as a weapon. It’s almost as though Hollywood refuses to acknowledge the fact that these devices can be used for wonderful, wonderful pleasure. It’s borderline criminal, in my opinion. Here we see Bruno, at the end of the trailer, ask a self defense expert how he would defend himself were he attacked by a fake plastic penis.

So, enjoy the scene for what it is, but also take notes, because sometimes, Valentines Day can make you feel like you’re being attacked by a gay dude with a big plastic penis. And that’s the romantic in me.

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