8 Children’s Shows That Will Turn Your Kids Into Communists

Monday, December 5 by

Care Bears

Here’s a list of Care Bears characters:

Bedtime Bear
Birthday Bear
Cheer Bear
Friend Bear
Funshine Bear
Good Luck Bear
Grumpy Bear
Love-a-lot Bear
Tenderheart Bear
Wish Bear
Baby Hugs Bear
Champ Bear
Daydream Bear
Forest Friend Bear
Grams Bear
I Love You Bear

“I Love You Bear?” “Funshine Bear?” Oh. Yeah. These guys will help us win the war on terror. This is such a standard pacifist agenda. Where is “Increased Military Spending Bear” or “Smoke ‘Em Out of Their Holes Bear?”

They’re probably enduring a shitstorm in Afghanistan while these guys play an acoustic guitar and talk about their feelings.

Also, it’s rude to stare.

Go, Diego, Go/Dora the Explorer

I haven’t seen these shows, but I once saw my housekeeper’s daughter wearing a Dora the Explorer sweatshirt, so I’m pretty sure that this show brainwashes our children into opening up our borders.

If Dora is so unhappy with the United States that she feels the need to “explore,” maybe she should leave this fine country. Or at the very least go to Florida or New Mexico.

Electric Company

Why are these men so close to each other? And why can’t we see their hands?

Shame on you, Electric Company. Shame on your eyes.

Do you like this story?