8 Children’s Shows That Will Turn Your Kids Into Communists

Monday, December 5 by

Popeye

This show has a clear liberal agenda in that it forces a vegan diet on children. Why will spinach make you so strong? You know what else makes you strong? Industrial grade beef from Texas stockyards. The hormones are balanced just right so that you have the strength to turn in terrorists and report suspicious activity. Why is the only character who is man enough to enjoy hamburgers called Wimpy? He should be called something manly like Cliff or Clint.

Further, Bluto is what the gay community would refer to as a “bear.” Let me go on record as saying that ALL types of bears are dangerous. Some to groups of Boy Scouts camping in the wilderness, and others to… well, groups of Boy Scouts camping in the wilderness.

Schoolhouse Rock

Why is this show so obsessed with letting children know how things work? Let sleeping dogs lie. I don’t need to know how the government works to know that the liberal Jewish media is destroying this country. I have never learned what a conjunction is or how it works, and I’m still able to send eloquent manifestos to the New York Times every Veterans Day.

You’re just a bill? A lonely bill? Maybe you wouldn’t be so lonely if you did something useful like spark corporate spending instead of coddling the homeless and giving poor people all those free abortions.

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