7 Terrible Movies To See On A Date

Thursday, September 29 by

The Break-Up

This one is bad whether it’s a first date or a thirty-first date. It’s bad for a first date because it plants the seed of failure in the minds of the viewer. And it’s bad for established couples, because it leads to the discussion of where the relationship is headed. Which normally isn’t so bad, except the movie already has girlfriend all worked up through osmosis and waiting to pounce on the tiniest sign of you’re slipping up.

Enough

It was bad enough when J. Lo’s abusive ex-husband caused her to go into hiding. But he really goes too far when hiding requires she sport an unattractive haircut. There’s only so much a person can take. From there she works her ass off and trains to be a ninja or kickboxer or something. She gets her revenge in the end, but there’s just something about extreme domestic violence. It’s always a turn-off.

127 Hours

You won’t just want to sleep in separate beds after watching James Franco saw his arm off with a dull blade. You might want to sleep in different states. Make sure that your relationship is pretty solid before escorting your honey to this one. Then go out drinking immediately after viewing in hopes of liquor-scrubbing the imagery out of your thoughts.