7 Surprising Ways to Kill Aliens

Wednesday, April 4 by

Aspirin – The Faculty

When Herrington High School is taken over by parasitic alien body snatchers, it’s up to The Breakfast Club to stop them. Or the 90’s equivalent. With the school completely assimilated save for six kids, it’s discovered that the diuretic aspirin used in the school dealer’s supply kills the water-craving parasites by drying them out. All the more reason to legalize it.

“Indian Love Call” by Slim Whitman – Mars Attacks!

They laughed in the face of our nuclear weapons and killed Martin Short with his pants down. However, we did have one weapon powerful enough to send those Martian invaders back to Mars in a body bag. The high-pitched yodel of Slim Whitman in “Indian Love Call” was more than the alien’s exposed cerebellum could handle, causing them to explode from within.

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