7 Surprising Ways to Kill Aliens

Wednesday, April 4 by
Die Alien scum! 

If there’s one thing that movies have taught me, it’s that every foe has an Achilles’ Heel. No matter how unstoppable or menacing they seem, even the worst have a guaranteed take-down. Godzilla is weakened by the Anti-Nuclear Bacteria. Johnny Lawrence is susceptible to the Crane Kick. And Prince Goro can’t take a punch to the nuts.

Why should aliens be any different? Since they are usually extra strong or protected from conventional Earth weapons, it benefits to think outside the box when combating an alien menace.

Microbes – War of the Worlds

The Tripod aliens in War of the Worlds came on pretty strong, forcing man to scurry and hide like animals in whichever dark corners they could find. Between disengaging all electronics and turning humans into a bloody mulch, they seemed unstoppable. Luckily for us, it turns out they’re total pussies when it comes to germs. The aliens were quickly weakened and killed off by the microbes we interact with daily. I still think getting a bad cold sucks though.

Water – Signs

M. Night Shyamalan is a filmmaker with a perpetual target on his back. That’s not to say that it hasn’t been earned. For instance, with Signs he decided to show the more human side of an alien invasion. The problem here was not the storytelling. It was the alien race’s weakness. In the third act, the aliens who had previously remained cloaked in shadows came out of hiding to terrorize humans for some kind of reason that only the aliens know. When they proved impervious to the effects of a baseball bat, it was revealed that they reacted to water like it was acid. Why they would travel to a world whose surface is 70% water is also a mystery. Durr, aliens.

Microwaves – The Darkest Hour

How do you kill what you can’t see? During a business trip to Moscow, invisible aliens invade with weaponry that turns man to dust. While struggling to stay alive, a band of survivors discover that the aliens can be weakened by microwaves. These survivors build microwave guns to help them turn the fight against these invaders. Crazy science. How do you like that, aliens?

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