7 Shittiest Television Christmas Specials

Monday, December 5 by

A Chipmunk Christmas

The Alvin and the Chipmunks themed Christmas special attempts to tug at your heartstrings in a terrible way: by exploiting a dying child. The plot centers around Alvin befriending a boy dying of cholera (Oregon Trail crossover?), which is really reckless on the part of his care-givers. You mean to tell me that you’re going to let a kid who got sick from the germs in shit-water hang out with a rodent? Those things carry ticks. Last thing this kid needs is a case of Lyme’s Disease on top of his cholera. Not to mention, that the rodent is shrill-voiced and prone to breaking into song. God, the migraine’s must be terrible.

The Year Without a Santa Claus

This is not just the worst Christmas special ever, but it also could rank as the worst thing ever. This live-action remake of the Christmas classic stars John Goodman as a Midlife Crisis Santa who considers hanging up his pom-pommed hat for a year. Ethan Suplee and Eddie Griffin also star as bumbling elves, while Michael McKean and Harvey Fierstein play the Snow Miser and Heat Miser respectively. But their costumes and special effects are so shitty that their war looks more like a Bollywood version of Thor.

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