It's that magical time of the year again. A time to sit through sh*tty Christmas special after shitty Christmas special. Instead of filling the heart with holiday cheer, these read more as long toy commercials, blatant cash grabs, or chilling reminders of our own mortality. This is totally redundant. I don't need any help getting depressed around the holidays. The holidays usually just take care of that themselves. But thanks for the assist, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Outlined below are seven of the all time worst Christmas specials the networks have ever crammed down our chimneys. And, no, the Star Wars Christmas Special didn't make the Worst Of list. It took balls to make it, and nerve like that deserves reward.

Shrek the Halls

When America screamed "No more Shrek movies!!," the studio actually listened. However, nobody said anything about television holiday specials. Hence, Shrek the Halls. And wouldn't you know it? All of Shrek's attempts to pull off an awesome holiday fall flat and get screwed up by a wacky cast of fairy tale characters. Poor guy just can't win.

A Very Brady Christmas

The Brady Family gets back together in one place for the holidays. Unfortunately, we're invited to watch as well. It's always awkward to share the holidays with someone else's family, but even worse when the now grown children are neurotic messes. Jan is headed for divorce, Greg's wife doesn't want anything to do with him, Peter is intimidated by his bossy girlfriend and can't get it up, Marcia married a bum, and Bobby has secretly dropped out of college. That sounds almost as bad as all the stuff that actually happened to the actors who play them.

Larry the Cable Guy's Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza

On the one hand, I hate the pride Larry and friends feel when he makes a piss poor, unfunny, old man joke. But on the other, those fit young women aren't wearing a lot of clothes. It's like a Penthouse cartoon got a TV adaptation.

Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

Rankin/Bass lifted their skirts and proved themselves to be whores with this one. Greedy from the success of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, they decided to tell the story of the misfit jackass, Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. But this transparent Rudolph clone didn't just steal from its inspiration, but it also went into the territory of another famous ruminant mammal. Not only do his long ears get his teased mercilessly (even by Rudolph (total dick), but his mother also freezes to death while trying to keep her mutant son warm. If there's ever a rash of serial killings in the North Pole, I recommend FBI profilers swing by Nestor's stable for an interview.

Christmas Comes to Pac-Land

Much like Tim Allen, Pac-Man must don Santa's coat and make his appointed rounds after accidentally killing him. Okay. He doesn't kill him, but his reckless eating of ghosts causes Santa's reindeer to crash after being spooked by their floating disembodied eyes. He'll be lucky if those reindeer ever decide to fly again. The therapy bills for livestock are astronomical.

A Chipmunk Christmas

The Alvin and the Chipmunks themed Christmas special attempts to tug at your heartstrings in a terrible way: by exploiting a dying child. The plot centers around Alvin befriending a boy dying of cholera (Oregon Trail crossover?), which is really reckless on the part of his care-givers. You mean to tell me that you're going to let a kid who got sick from the germs in shit-water hang out with a rodent? Those things carry ticks. Last thing this kid needs is a case of Lyme's Disease on top of his cholera. Not to mention, that the rodent is shrill-voiced and prone to breaking into song. God, the migraine's must be terrible.

The Year Without a Santa Claus

This is not just the worst Christmas special ever, but it also could rank as the worst thing ever. This live-action remake of the Christmas classic stars John Goodman as a Midlife Crisis Santa who considers hanging up his pom-pommed hat for a year. Ethan Suplee and Eddie Griffin also star as bumbling elves, while Michael McKean and Harvey Fierstein play the Snow Miser and Heat Miser respectively. But their costumes and special effects are so shitty that their war looks more like a Bollywood version of Thor.

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