Until backyard wrestling becomes a crime (please don’t correct me if it is a crime), the most ghetto activity one can engage in is dogfighting. It’s the alpha and omega of sleazy, classless behavior, as the nation’s scorn towards Michael Vick demonstrated. Vick was arrested in 2007 as state officials raided property he owned in Virginia on suspicion of dogfighting. Those suspicions turned out to be founded, and Vick was sentenced to two years, did less, and is still struggling to restore his image.
What a Kid Rock thing to get arrested for. The altercation has been referred to as a “brawl,” which makes it all the more charming. In October of 2007, Kid Rock was charged with simple battery (how apt), was fined $1,000 bucks, and forced to perform 80 hours of community service.
In 1999, a sex tape surfaced that showed Rock and Creed frontman Scott Stapp having sex with four groupies in a mobile home. Gross. The courts mercifully blocked the tape from being released. Thank Christ. I would rather Rock beat the hell out of folks in front of every Waffle House and Denny’s in the US than hear another word about him banging groupies alongside Scott Stapp.
There he is! You didn’t think we were gonna make it through this list without R. Kelly, did you? Yup. In 2002, R. Kelly, was picked up after a video was found of him whizzing on some 14 year-old girl, but he remarkably was able to get out of any statutory charges, with the jury finding him not guilty on all counts. How they found him “not guilty” of sleeping with and pissing on a 14 year-old girl is strange considering there was a video of him pissing on and sleeping with a 14 year-old girl. That’s a hell of a legal team he must have had.
Chicago: Where it’s okay to piss on teenage girls. That should be their tourism slogan.