7 Reasons Why DJ Qualls May Have Been Beaten By Police

Residual The New Guy Beatings

It’s impossible to watch The New Guy and not be thrown into a compulsive, blind rage toward DJ Qualls. This rule also applies to Chris Kattan for Corky Romano and David Spade for Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star.

Unable To Prove His DJ Skills

Canada takes hip hop music very seriously.

Residual The Core Beatings

Maybe his character in The Core wouldn’t be considered so annoying if he didn’t dress like an entry in an Ugly Lamp contest.

Jerkface

Though he’s probably a very nice and laid-back person, DJ Qualls does suffer from “jerkface.” “Jerkface” is a global epidemic that effects millions of people each year. Though there are no known permanent cures, some sufferers have found success by growing facial hair. Though, research shows that distracting sideburns are not well-received.