7 Prehistoric Movies That In NO Way Represent Actual History

Friday, August 3 by Gregory Wakeman

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Cinematic audiences have always been interested in stories that revolve around the prehistoric era. Any opportunity to see mammoths, dinosaurs, and other unrecognizable creatures roam across the earth and wreak havoc is lapped up by a large number of viewers, but critics have never been too fond of them. Except for "Jurassic Park." Everybody loves "Jurassic Park." But what are 7 prehistoric movies that in no way represent actual history?

 

"The Flintstones"

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We would all like to think that dinosaurs and humans roamed the earth together in harmony, but unfortunately it didn't happen. However, if it had it probably would have gone down much like "The Flintstones." Feet would have powered cars, dinosaurs would have been used as equipment/pets, and yes they might have threatened to eat a few people, but it would have been worth it.

 

"Ice Age"

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Peoples' love of animals sees them often decide that they have better instincts than those of humans. But of course, this isn't true as they often will eat younger and weaker prey for their own advantage, but if they were all like the characters in "Ice Age" then it could be easier to agree with this hypothesis. We watch three paleolithic mammals return a lost human baby to its parents as the ice age begins to take over the world.

 

"The Land Before Time"

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It's safe to assume that road trips didn't occur too often in the pre-historic era, but in "The Land Before Time," we watch the young dinosaur Littlefoot and his mother look for Great Valley, a place where food, water and other resources are present. Of course, his mother dies and he has to make the journey with a group of friends he finds along the way. It's surprisingly touching to this day.

 

"Year One"

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Jack Black and Michael Cera play Zed and Oh, a hunter and gatherer who are banished from their tribe for being, well, Jack Black and Michael Cera. They embark on a trip across the world that allows them to see part of the earth that they'd only heard about, and encountering many religious characters who would almost certainly not have co-existed together.

 

"1 Million Years BC"

 

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Hammer film productions were never too concerned with historical accuracy and "1 Million Years BC" definitely showcases this. Possessing the cinematic taglines, "Travel back through time and space to the edge of man's beginnings…discover a savage world whose only law was lust!" and "This is the way it was," the movie clearly tries to convince its audience that Raquel Welch really did parade around in a flimsy bikini. Something that we've all dreamed of. 

 

"Prometheus"

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Ridley Scott's controversial prequel to his stupendous "Alien" film, left many fans feeling numb in disappointment. It gave a back story to the franchise that wasn't needed and its opening scene is ambiguous to how how integral these creatures were to the existence of mankind. Were they on earth? Weren't they? Who cares?

 

"Quatermass & The Pit"

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Set in post-war London at an underground station named Hobb's End, Professor Bernard Quatermass theorizes that rather than the army finding an undetonated bomb they have actually found the remains of an alien race from Mars who couldn't survive on Earth and then decided to enhance the intelligence of the planet's natives. A bold theory.