7 Movies That Are Probably On Newt Gingrich’s Netflix Que

Friday, January 20 by

Hall Pass

In Hall Pass,/em>, two wives grow sick and tired of their husbands, Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis, constantly fantasizing about sticking it in everything hot that moves. So they offer their husbands one-week off from marriage, where they are free to live as single men. However, what the husbands don’t realize is that the gander is getting the goose’s goods as well. The ladies also decide they are free to flirt and welcome the affections of athletes. Professional athletes. Those are the worst kind.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy

Jason Sudeikis is back to his horndog ways in A Good Old Fashioned Orgy. After his dad decides to sell Sudeikis’s party pad, he decides to throw one last blowout. But it can’t be any ordinary party. It’s orgy time. He invites all of his friends. The group is comprised of geeky guys and disproportionately hot women. This is like the CBS sitcom of movies.

One pair not invited however are his married friends, Will Forte and Lucy Punch. They find out about the soiree and decide they want in regardless and end up crashing it. The group is hesitant to include them because they have a child together. But methinks it was more due to the fact that Lucy Punch looks like Lucy Punch.

Eyes Wide Shut

Eyes Wide Shut follows Tom Cruise‘s quest to get some strange. However, try as hard as he might, he can’t find himself attracted to any of the prostitutes and models he encounters. His frustrated search leads him to an exclusive masked party thrown by a secret sex society. Before even seeing his penis, the party organizers know that he is an outsider and cast him off. There are clues that at least two people were killed because of his party crashing. Why couldn’t he be more like Keith Urban and be content to stay home and plow Nicole Kidman? I mean, I know her forehead’s a little weird, but it’s not that bad.

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