7 Movies About Nuns That Are In No Way Accurate

Wednesday, September 12 by Gregory Wakeman

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Nuns are surprisingly well represented in the medium of cinema. For countless decades writers, directors, and producers have been examining the complex minds of women who devote their lives to the big man upstairs. Whether or not they’ve actually portrayed them in the correct manner is another matter entirely, with Hollywood often looking to sex-up their lives and scenarios in order to get more people into cinemas. Here are 7 movies about nuns that are in no way accurate.

 

“Black Narcissus”

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Nuns are used to being isolated and solemn in their devotion to the lord. So English directing luminaries Powell and Pressburger’s tale of a group of Anglican nuns falling in and out of love with a British agent in a remote area of the Himalayas seems a tad overly dramatic to be taken seriously. Still, it’s visually beautiful and moving in places.

 

“The Bells of St. Mary’s”

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The highest grossing movie of 1945 saw Ingrid Bergman and Bing Crosby star as a nun and a priest who get on each other’s nerves profusely. However they are each able to put their differences aside and help to save the church that they work in, with their good-natured ribbing of each other always remaining plutonic. Thing is though, Bergman is way too good looking to be a nun.

 

“The Sound Of Music”

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When you think about it, “The Sound of Music” isn’t the greatest example for any girl looking to enter a convent. Julie Andrews’ Maria leaves because she falls in love and the rest of the nuns go toe-to-toe with the Nazis! I’m sure God would have been proud though.

 

“Doubt”

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Meryl Streep’s Sister Aloysius is so morbidly scary that her mere presence sends tingles of terror down the spine of anyone before her! She has a sharp tongue, devilish mind, and a glare so icy that it’s deadlier than Mr. Freeze. And if she thinks you’re a paedophile she will do all she can to make sure you get convicted, regardless of proof. Which is probably a good thing in a way.

 

“Nuns on the Run”

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When Robbie Coltrane and Eric Idle’s two common thugs end up hiding from their bosses in a nunnery disguised as two girls who work there, their charade shouldn’t last longer than a moment. Preposterously though, they are just about able to pull it off and Idle even ends up falling in love! Ridiculous. 

 

“Sister Act”

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Whoopi Goldberg is the musician with a sassy attitude who is placed in a convent for her own protection. Of course along the way she teaches the stuck-up nuns a lesson or two and even learns a few things herself. Basically, it’s “Nuns on the Run” but Goldberg replaces Hagrid. Which one is easier on the eyes though? It’s impossible to decide.

 

“Sister Act 2”

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Goldberg’s Deloris turns into a music teacher for her return to the role in one of the most needless sequels ever produced. It serves as a perfect example for the Law of Diminishing Returns…tt’s got a few catchy tunes though.