The similarities between this firm and the New England Patriots organization are many. They are despicable, they have excellent track records, and they utilize some shady washed-up professionals to get results in their favor. Of course, a corporation can’t be inherently evil, rather the corporate culture takes on the values of the people running it. Since the Kraft family seems like a decent lot, I’m going to say that the Patriots’ underhanded and despicable methods are a result of a man who has permanent residency in a moral grey area. That man is Bill Belichick.
I can’t prove that Belichick or one of his henchman saw to it that Peyton Manning’s neck would be especially fragile this year, but you have to admit that the timing is a little suspicious. Peyton’s out all season, and Rob Gronkowski has a breakout year, leading the Pats to the Super Bowl? It’s suspect.
Bill Belichick and the shark from Jaws are pretty much the same on the surface. Both have cold dead eyes, both reside near New England, and both will eventually be blown up by Roy Scheider (a theory I have).
What makes Jaws less sinister than Bill Belichick is the fact that Jaws would have licensed his name to Madden so that the roster didn’t simply read “NE Coach.” What a jerk. Jaws may eat skinny dippers, but it wouldn’t be the lone holdout keeping me from total immersion in my football video game.
Also, Jaws would have never gotten involved in SpyGate. Mostly because it would flop around die if it ever left the water, but also because it has more integrity than that. Unlike Belichick.