Countless movie sequels and remakes of the remakes clog movie theatre release schedules. Were those stories unfinished or did they simply smell like freshly printed money? These seven sacred classics should never, ever, ever, ever be yanked from their iconic pedestals and forced to fail at being incredibly awesome all over again. Well, at least we can hope and pray, can't we?
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
Steven Spielberg knows that the emotionally uplifting experience known to the world as "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial" is a once in a lifetime event. Spielberg has publicly refused to do a sequel to his classic by stating, "I'm never going to make E.T. II. E.T. is a closed story." This alien with the glowing heart makes adults revisit their childhood and makes kids wish their household pet could learn to speak and eat Reese's Pieces. The question of whether or not to exploit "E.T." with a sequel should be replaced with a better question: why break what's already perfect?
This is the touching fairy tale about a homemade boy who has hands only a barber could benefit from. This timeless fable has a long life expectancy in the memories of movie goers that a lesser fantasy film would need sequel upon sequel to compete with. What could possibly be next for Edward, an "Edward Scissorhands vs. Freddie Krueger" blade fight? He is better off keeping his scissors sharp as a part of movie mythology instead of returning as a computer generated hairdresser. And Winona Ryder's old woman voice is better off never heard again.
Quentin Tarantino was gracious enough to give us three overlapping crime stories—making "Pulp Fiction" practically a two and a half hour trilogy. "Pulp Fiction" also represents a moment that managed to make John Travolta a prime target for movie scripts again, Samuel L. Jackson an immediate movie star of the leading man variety, and reminded forgetful filmgoers that Bruce Willis is not just "Die Hard" spelled with different letters. This is a tightly plotted, self-contained story—not a victim for sequels that couldn't even begin to match the first.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Ferris Bueller is the Valedictorian of movie teens, not some dude that returns as a 45-year-old ditching his plush marketing job to revisit his favorite Chicago sights again. A more important reason to leave this 1986 coming-of-age comedy alone is that John Hughes, the Zen master of teen films, has passed away. Hughes' biggest directorial success should not have to bare the permanent stink of a horrid movie sequel.